Oh that sweet young thang! As a disclaimer this guy IS of age! Why did I name him young? Because he’s 27 and still operates like an 18 year old. Yes he has his life together, bought a condo and a car, Great job, educated and such. But mentally, he’s just not there. Everything is usually a joke or ends with a “I’m just kidding”. If I was 21 I’d be all over him!
The only reason young thang is still around is because he’s ssuuuupper cute and constantly calls me beautiful. I won’t even question that that is strictly just to get in my pants, I’m cool with it.
Young thang is also Jamaican, and smokes ALOT of weed. When I first asked how much he smoked, he said only enough so that he had an appetite after he worked out. Take note ladies…that means they’re smoking ALL OF THE TIME!
One foggy night he took me out to dinner, told me I can have anything on the menu (hallelujah), messed up our order because he was so nervous, THEN told me I can have the last slice of pizza! It’s like he dropped from heaven! I knew things were gunna get steamy right then and there!
Lowered expectations people!
So after the delicious pizza we started driving around and ended up near my place where there’s a pier. The pier was completely covered in fog so you felt like you’re in The Mist movie. We walked all the way, made out a bit and got creeped out so we headed back to the car. This is where I thought, oh maybe he’s gunna take me to his place! NO! This dude wanted to have car sex! Of all the sexual locations and positions… car sex is the worst! Let alone in a sedan!
After he told me to “not be like that” I succumbed to the reality that yes, I’m about to have sex in a car as if I was 17 again. So because this dude is cute, tall and Jamaican I naturally assumed everything was going to be AAA level. Before I realized what was happening…he finished. I swear I honestly didn’t even clue in that we were having sex, or anything ever penetrated (sorry TMI!). Here’s the kicker, he asked me “is that what you wanted?” In a low husky voice after he was all done.
I was taught that If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Then told me that yes, he will definitely call me again. Eye roll.