Jackass

I’ve had a hard time trying to figure out how to structure this story. There’s nothing steamy or exciting about it but it does show how some men have a deep rooted hatred and disrespect for women. I hope the following story opens the eyes for some women on how they let men treat them. This person isn’t the only one that thinks and acts like this and it needs to be talked about.

I’m going to call this guy Jackass, he deserves worse names but I’m pretty sure google would flag me. So let’s give a back story to jackass, oh and jackass if you’re ever reading this…there is nothing nor nobody in this world that will ever make you change, so enjoy.

Jackass and I met almost 8 years ago. A friend of mine was dating his friend so naturally we all hung out. Somehow there was a huge sexual attraction there. Back then his image was “thug lyfe”. 19 year old me was all over it. He definitely was an ass back then but seemed to be nice to me when we were alone. He was and is VERY opinionated! Now during this time I actually started dating his friend and during that whole relationship I still had this crazy attraction towards the ass. Even my boyfriend knew that, the running joke was that eventually we were going to hook up.

Fast track a few years down the road, I’ve broken up with my guy and my friend is still going strong with her man so we are all still hanging out. One night the tension was ¬†Uber strong and we started fooling around. Something in my head was yelling NO! Obviously I was inebriated and wasn’t listening. Slowly I just kept saying no out loud, he wasn’t listening. He finally got frustrated and said “don’t make me force you, wouldn’t be my first time”. Alarmed bells were dinging like crazy!

I jumped off the bed and made some random excuse. He ended driving me ¬†home and we didn’t speak for almost 2 years. During this time i needed to figure out why was my brain saying no. I would later learn that he didn’t want to hook up with me because he liked me, he wanted to hook up because I would have been an accomplishment. you see when I was dating his friend, he was very much in love with me and jackass couldn’t understand that and was jealous. So having sex with me would have been a one up on his friend and a symbol that “he’s the man”. I on the other hand actually liked him and was secretly hoping he would give in to his emotions. Silly me.

2 years later somehow we got to talking again. We met up to go to the movies and the tensions was right back there. I was telling myself to just hook up with him to get it over with so I can get over him but yet again my brain was yelling HELL NO! Somehow this dude sleazed himself into my apartment and after dissing the place (he lived at home with mom) he managed to pull his clothes off and sucker me into bed. Everything was going fine but I wanted more foreplay, he wanted to finish the deed. So a conflict arose. His words “we kissed, I played with this and this (don’t want to get too graphic) and it’s about time we have sex!”
I immediately was turned off! Sex is a journey and not a conquest! I tried explaining that but he wasn’t having it. After calling me a bunch of names and telling I’m an insecure young girl I kicked him out of my place. Phew I dodged another bullet!

Fast forward a year and a bit, I’m on tinder and I get a message from jackass. “Hey! Saw you on tinder, how’s it going?” Silly me thought maybe he matured. We had a casual conversation and he mentioned how we have so much tension, so we both agreed to hook up (yes I know! Somehow I have forgotten everything about him at this point!!). Now I’ve matured a lot by this point, mentally and sexually so I was very open, flirtatious and asking tons of questions to get a feel of what he liked. Maybe that’s what set him off? I asked him to get tested because he said he recently broke up with a girlfriend, he replied with “I only hook up with clean educated girls”.

Oh fucking please!
I didn’t hear from him for a couple days so I decided to check in. This is what I got:

There are SO many things wrong with those messages. SO many! Thank you universe because I definitely dodged a missile this time! This is the type of person that isn’t capable of love, isn’t capable of acceptance (particularly in himself) and isn’t capable of being emotionally mature. It doesn’t even matter how I look like, how much weight I’ve lost and if I’m healthy or not. That thought process alone shows the true character of this individual. Worst part is that this happens ALL OF THE TIME to women. And we take it. Because somehow we believe that they’re right.
Moral of the story, love yourself and know your worth. Never let anyone treat you less than what you deserve.

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